The Mother I Want to Be
Yesterday was the sweetest, most emotional mother’s day I have had in a long while. We dealt with four complete (and PUBLIC) meltdowns all before lunch. I had definitely not had enough coffee for that, y’all. By the time we sat down in Sunday School, my nerves were shot and I was already on the verge of tears. Then a precious mother, a season ahead of us, delivered a message of God’s faithfulness in her children’s lives. She shared about not being perfect, but being a mother who passionately pursues Christ, letting her kids see that lived out in her. It was such a beautiful testimony that convicted me as to what kind of mother I want to be.
I want to be loving over strict. I want my rules to come from love and protection, not of control and frustration. I want my words to be full of grace. I want my discipline to be consistent. I want my actions to be fun, gentle and tender. I want my prayers to be on my knees, faithful and constant. I want my love for their father to come first. I want my walk with Christ to impact them forever. I want to be a humble mother, asking for forgiveness when necessary. I want to nurture their gifts. I want to be confident in God’s desire for them, refusing to feel threatened by the world’s value for success. I want to parent with an eternal perspective, realizing that not everything is that important. I want my children to feel the fierce love of the mother as much as humanly possible, rarely doubting my loyalty to them. I want my children to witness an unwavering and steadfast faith, rooted in a deep love for Jesus. I want to lean on the Lord more than I lean on my friends. I want to desperately run with my children toward the Lord, helping them navigate their way to the foot of the cross, all while keeping my hands off of their circumstances. Gosh, I want them to get my best at all times.
As I reflect on these thoughts this morning, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed in the space between where I am and where I want to be as a mother. However, as the last weeks of school come to a close, and I prepare for the lazy (and crazy) days of summer, my heart is turning toward the Lord in this area. I want to plan on this summer being a refreshing for my momma soul. I want to spend time soaking in my little ones and refreshing my heart in His word. I want to focus on slowing my speech and sitting on the ground to roll the ball. I want to allow God to work in my heart so that when the schedule picks back up in the fall my heart feels full. Lord, help me to be the mother YOU want me to be. Help me to bend to Your will for my children, not my own. Father, forgive me for when I compare my children to others and get frustrated when they don’t do what I want. Give me an extreme amount of patience in dealing with a feisty toddler. May I be gentle with my words. God, thank You for these sweet blessings and may I lay them down at Your feet with each and every passing day.