A few months ago I walked through some seriously angry moments while simultaneously being overcome with peace. Those hot crocodile tears fell on my lap in the middle of a Kroger parking lot as I let God have it, and it all felt like relief. Relief because I was able to have an authentic and honest relationship with my Savior. Actually, it felt like a deep exhale. And in that same moment, God gently reminded me that His spirit is grieved by my circumstance, too.
Therefore since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16
God sympathizes with us and with our weakness, whether that comes out in anger, sadness, grief, or loneliness. He didn’t leave when I was abused by my father, and he also didn't leave you when tragedy struck, when you picked up that drink, or when you walked back to that hotel room. He was still on His throne then, and is still on his throne today. Even while you sit in heartache and yes, if when you’re angry about it.
All of this is a result of the mere existence of sin, and as long as we have sin we will also have grief and brokenness. And we can ask God why as much as we want, even if we might not like (or get) the answer.
Just like David, we cry out to God. Just like David, we tell him of our heartache, we ask him why and how and when will it be over. Sometimes He may give us clarity, but painfully often He instead sits with us in our weaknesses, holding our hand, whispering, ‘Trust me, you aren’t alone.”
Then, after our heart is sufficiently raw and poured out, we get up, dust ourselves off and believe the God we serve. We remember what He’s done for us - who He sent for us and why.
We worship Him. We praise Him. We thank Him. And we move forward even when we don’t want to, even when we know we will be right back here in our grief tomorrow.
Because He can accomplish great things here in our circumstance. But we have a choice to believe. So let’s make it together.