When God says 'go' and you say 'no.'
I still get surprised when God takes what I think is best for me and turns it up on its head.
Most recently, I served as our elementary school's PTA secretary for the past two years. When I signed up, it was the spring of 2020, everything had been canceled, and it was a pretty simple job. After my two-year term, I was done. I was going to have a high schooler in the high school band. We were going to have cotillion for our middle child, I was releasing my first book and surely I would have speaking engagements to attend and podcasts to record and people to meet. Oh, and it's campaign season, and the toll that typically takes on our family each year isn't huge, but significant. I needed the least amount of "extra" commitment possible.
So when the current PTA President called to ask where I was interested in serving for the upcoming year, I politely (and strongly) said, "I'm out."
Then God began to do the tap, tap, tap thing he often does on my heart. I quickly reminded him about my time constraints. I literally said aloud in my car, "God, I don't have time to do this." And the little whisper that came to my heart in reply said, "Maybe you should make time."
If I had a big eye roll emoji to insert here, I would. I wish I could say I am more humble when talking to the Lord about this stuff, but truth be told, I want him to know why my decision is better than his leading. Is anyone else with me on that?
A few days of arguing later, I finally said, "If you want me to do this, God, the principal herself is going to have to call me and ask."
I avoided her like the plague. I snuck in and snuck out of PTA meetings. When I volunteered, I didn't stop by the office to say hi. I was doing everything possible to avoid the job I already knew God had called me to do.
And then she sent me a message. (Insert another big fat eye roll.)
I mean, I shouldn't be surprised, right? I already knew where God was calling me, but it was the opposite of my heart's desire.
My heart desired to be free and focus on my ministry, book, speaking engagements, and art career. Truthfully, my heart longed to be selfish with my time - because no one is "the boss of me."
But sometimes, when the call is so loud, it's hard to ignore, no matter how great my selfishness.
And so, on July 1, 2022, I began a new season. Let me introduce you to the PTA President for 2022-2023. (I know you're laughing, but that's okay!)
Here's the thing. I said yes reluctantly. I said yes because I knew God led me, not because I wanted to.
But it's funny how God changed my heart almost immediately. I told our precious principal this morning when she asked how I was doing, "Actually, I love it." Am I overwhelmed? Yes. Is it a lot? Heck yes. But there is a joy in the work of God's calling that is a treasured experience.
So I just wonder if there is somewhere God is calling you today that you don't want to go.
I'm not talking about the complicated conversation you know you have to have, but the choice God plopped straight in your lap. The choice that you know is from him but desperately hope isn't.
If you find yourself here today friend, this is what I want to encourage you with: Don't wait for God to change your heart's desire to go where He desires to lead you.
Scripture tells us, "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires." (Psalm 37:4) This isn't because he gives us whatever we want. This is because when we delight in the Lord, when we listen to his voice and go where he is leading, then his desires become our desires. Our very ability to follow God is a culmination of a desire of our hearts.
Praying for you this day as you contemplate what he has in store for you. I cannot wait to hear from you about where God is leading. It would be an honor to pray alongside you as you walk forward!